Communication comes in many difference forms. For instance, we can use body language to effectively tell someone how we feel about them or a situation. This method is rarely recommended because it can cause a lot of hard feelings because of how it is delivered.

Reacting to a situation in an overtly positive or negative manner can also be a powerful means of conveying a message to an individual or group. Again, one must be careful how we act and react to certain situations because of how it can negatively affect those with whom we are trying to communicate.

Communication has become more available for us to engage in but it doesn’t necessarily mean that we are communicating more or better. Email seems an easy way to communicate but is it always effective? Things that we say in an email can sound differently to the receiver of the email because there isn’t any body language and there isn’t any tone of voice. Because the receiver of the email is adding emotion and intentions to the email (I guarantee they will), the message can get lost among the emotions. It is important to be clear and concise in your email correspondence especially when we are going to critique someone.

More importantly, when we want to deliver this critique, especially after rehearsing what we just did, it is imperative to deliver it in person.

If you are going to praise someone for something they have done, it means much more to someone if it is done in person. You took the time to share positive news in person. In person, we can convey everything we want to convey: tone, positive body language, warmth and a handshake. All that is missing with an email.

Conversely, if we need to deliver some critique that isn’t as positive, you will want to make sure that you are talking face to face in order to be certain that the message is delivered properly and there aren’t any misunderstandings. This can be tough to do but you will be able to settle most situations in a face to face meeting rather than in an email.

I have worked with colleagues who prefer to write out everything and in that way leave a paper or email trail. It can be helpful to follow up with an email for the purpose of emphasis and clarity but it should not be your only source of communication especially when delivering critique of any kind.

Steve Buttry in his blog, The Buttry Diary, states that we should be very careful about what put in emails especially when strong emotions are involved.

Never send an email to a staff member when you’re angry. Written messages last longer than your anger. Physical presence, eye contact and a demonstration that you care are important parts of effective communication. The first two are lacking in an email message. And the third is weak (your words may say that you care, but your actions say this one isn’t worth getting out of your chair). You might want to calm down before talking face to face, but a personal conversation about something that made you angry might be the best way to prevent a repeat. 

It is more difficult to communicate face to face when emotions are running high. I suggest that you write down what you want to say so that you don’t forget your main points in the heat of the moment. It is better to wait until you are in control of your emotions to proceed than to just plow ahead and ruin the opportunity to resolve any issues that impede good communication.

There are golden opportunities within our work days and our personal lives that will cement understanding and build relationships. Come prepared with the communication skills that will maximize the chances for you to communicate effectively in whatever situation you find yourself.